The word "aligned" has come up a lot lately, in my own coaching sessions and clients' sessions. We know when we're in alignment: things are in flow; we feel joyful, even bliss, and like we're on the path of our purpose.
But more frequently, "misaligned" has been the word I'm hearing - like something is off, like a feeling of resistance or being stagnant. Something I've come to realize is how, more often than not, we force things in our lives that we know don't feel right, yet we do them anyway.
I've done that a lot - with jobs, relationships, living situations. But why do we do this? Why is it sometimes so hard to leave a situation that you know is no longer serving your vision for your life? I've come to a couple of reasons.
1. We think that we're the problem
We tend to think that there's something wrong with us when something that's seemingly "fine" feels off. So, we just keep moving through life, on autopilot, waiting for things to get better, waiting to snap out of it, or waiting for someone else to give us permission to move on.
But really, our bodies are telling us all of the time when something isn't right. And sometimes, we don't know why said thing or situation isn't right, which also keeps us stuck. If you really listen, your gut always knows the answer.
When we learn to cultivate trust in ourselves, doors open. Opportunities that we didn't see coming present themselves. We start to see that a life of freedom and joy is not only available to us, but is meant for us.
2. We're afraid to make the wrong decision
Something that I've also done is stayed in misaligned situations because I was so afraid to make a choice - more specifically, I was afraid to make the wrong choice. In talking with my coaching clients, I notice that that seems to be a common fear.
Taking it one step further, perhaps it's that we're combining being "wrong" with failing. Ultimately, we're afraid that if we don't choose wisely, we will fail. But sometimes what we might define as "failing" is actually only getting us one step closer to our overall goal. If you really look at the times in your life when you thought you failed at something, can you see how that situation actually got you to where you are today?
Maybe even the "failure" was deciding that something wasn't right for you, like going to school, or choosing a career path that you actually didn't feel passionate about. Whatever it may be, know this: You are the only one who decides what a failure is in your life. Not your family, not your friends, not society. So since you get to decide, why not turn your feelings of failure into feelings of moving forward?
3. We're worried about what other people will think
This is a big one for me. When we feel like we want to try something new, we're often stopped by the fear of what people will think - especially when it comes to leaving a job, or starting an entirely new career path. I was SO caught up in what people would think when I announced that I was becoming a life coach. I thought things like, "I look like I'm constantly changing my mind" (which is okay, too, by the way), or, "No one will take me seriously."
But in reality, everyone is actually really concerned with their own lives - and if they are being judgmental about your decisions for your one and only precious life, that is coming from a place of their own insecurity. Something that I heard years ago that changed my life was this: Other people's opinions are none of your business. If you really think about it, what good does it do you to know other people's negative thoughts about your choices? None.
Think about it like this: When you see someone going for their dreams, maybe leaving behind a career that's not working for them, do you judge them? Or do you cheer them on? Odds are, you're cheering them on, because we don't judge people unless, maybe deep down, we feel some type of resentment or are unhappy with a specific area in our own lives.
The moral of the story is, this is is your life. If you feel like something is out of alignment, that you don't feel passionately about it, take a look at it. Notice how your body feels when you think about it - do you feel resistant, do you feel stagnant? Or maybe that misalignment just needs some refining to reignite your passion. You are the one who knows the answers. Do some journaling, meditating, some overall digging, and trust what you find.